Lauren's letters from Rehab
by Louise Caroline
Summary: Lauren is now in rehab and is writing to her dearest loved ones, about how she is doing and apologies for what she got up to when she was drunk. **Including Romance** Your reviews mean a lot to me! Thanks! xo
1. Introduction

_**Introduction:**_

_This introduction is purely for the readers that haven't yet seen this part of Eastenders. _

_Lauren Branning has recently been dealing with an alcohol problem that had lead to having 'hepatitis' (Inflammation of the liver, caused by alcohol.) That left her in extreme pain. The doctors told her that either 1 or 10 drinks could kill her._

_Tanya knew she had to take desperate measures, and she did. Tanya realized that she couldn't watch her daughter get more sick and more desperate for a drink. And more likely to get distracted from her x – boyfriend Joey (Which she realizes still loves her.) So she packed suitcases for her, Lauren and Oscar to go to a rehab facility so that Lauren could get professional help for her addiction. That Tanya nor any of member of the family had control over. _

_Now in rehab, Lauren wants to write letter's to her family and boyfriend letting them know how she is doing and apologizing for all the 'damage' she has caused whilst she was drunk. _


	2. Dear Joey,

Dear Joey,

Excuse my writing, I haven't written a letter in a long time.

As you have properly heard from whispers around the square I am in Rehab.  
It was not my personal choice but I also knew that I wouldn't stop with my alcohol addiction if I saw you just casually strolling around the square, holding hands with Lucy Beale.

I wouldn't of been able to take it. Being paranoid of what you and her got up to. Drink kind of numbs the pain for a while, makes me forget. But you can't forget, not for long anyway, so you keep on drinking, you know, getting drunk. And before you know it every thing's gone you've made a fool of yourself. Lost Everyone...  
Every time I would see you two together I think about what could have been, if I hadn't of had this constant need for having a drink.

The truth is, your presence overwhelms me. I can't control my emotions around you. I love you and you cannot deny that you love me too. I am seeking help, help that I never thought I would ever require. I will come back, one day.

Sorry, Joey, my love. The times I have embarrassed you, I didn't mean it, really, I didn't. I miss you. I couldn't come back not yet, either 1 or 10 drinks could kill me. You are in my constant thoughts, at night I dream about you. How I came back and showered you with my hugs and kisses. Even though I know it's just a dream, a reality seems more desirable to me.

Not now though, there are just four, dull bricked walls around me. I messed it up, lost all control. All I feel is the heavy pounding of my heart beat against my ribs, the keys rattling as the nurses lock my door every night. Every time the door closes, I think of a black hole with you in it as it closes, I slowly shut my eyes and weep.

And when every thing's gone. You can only count of your dreams to fill your reality.

I don't really know if you're with Lucy, if you are I will leave you be.

I love you Joey and who ever you are with. In my head and heart you will always be with me. Waking up next to me. Loving me.

Goodbye Joey

Love Lauren... 


	3. Dear Lauren, Love Joey

**To Lauren, Love Joey. **

Joey casually sitting on this sofa, in a kind of day dream or trance. When suddenly there he hears the flap of the letter box. He strolls to the door with the remote control in his hand. Joey rapidly yanked the plain white letter out of the flap. *CRASH* the remote control smash onto the floor. He had noticed the way Lauren used to draw little bubbles over the 'I's. His heart was vigorously pounding, the pounding accelerated when he saw the words, Alcoholic, rehab, Sorry, LOVE, Lauren.

Joey's hands are trembling, he is bawling into the paper. Sniffling and weeping. Faintly whispering, '_I love you Lauren, I'm so sorry' _

Joey's skin is pale, his hands are still shaking. Time is still passing. But Joey is frozen in time. One million thoughts going through his mind all at once, he remains still but the tears are still flowing.

Joey realizes what he has done, what he had lost...

_**Two weeks later:**_

Joey writes back to Lauren, And he says...

_Dear Lauren, _

_My sweet Lauren,_

_I am so sorry, you needed me and I wasn't there. I didn't realized what I was doing, I don't love Lucy. I love you, I always have. You made it so difficult for me to love you, you were out there every night getting drunk, off your head on Alcohol. _

_I never understood you, I didn't know what you were capable of. _

_Please come back, when you're ready, of course. _

_Get better, please, for me. You don't deserve to be living a life in pain. Take this opportunity to better yourself._

_And don't ever say sorry to me, I should be the one saying sorry. _

_You don't need to rely on drink, you can rely on me. I will always be there for you. No matter how far away you are from me. Distance is irrelevant to me. This is us we are talking about, we can make dreams a reality. I will pull you through, I promise. _

_Oh Lauren, Never say goodbye, this isn't the end. I will see you again I WILL shower you with my hugs and kisses, I will be there, waiting outside your house when you return. Goodbye is such a hard word. I could never say goodbye to you, not while I still love you. _

_This must be difficult for you, I can understand that, don't turn to Alcohol. I Cannot risk never seeing you again that will break my heart into little pieces. I know we will meet again but for now 'Mwaahh' Take that kiss and get better soon. _

_Love Joey... xo _


	4. Dear Abi,

Dear Abi,

Well this is me, actually writing a letter. This seems like something you would do, huh? Since this is the only form of contact to the 'Outside world' I am alowed to make. This is what i'm stuck with.

Sorry for dragging Mum and Oscar away with me. Mum talks about you everyday. I'm jealous, there, I said it. Well, wrote it. You should be very proud of yourself. Your life could be a lot worse you could be nine-teen and already in Rehab, a slowly recovering alcoholic. Who's only hope is writing letters to their ex- boyfriend that I know has almost surely moved on. Anywho, back to you. You have it all. Your education, a steady relationship, FRIENDS, freedom! I shouldn't be jealous, I did this all to myself.  
You were trying to help me, trying to keep me sober. Trying to distract me from booze, You actually wanted to bond with me, when no one else wanted to be seen with me. I am greatful for that, but I just threw it all back into your face.

I didn't mean to say those awful words to you, I was having one of my drunked episodes.

I love you, as my sister of course, I mean not like that. Eww!

Take my advise, don't let things pile up on you. Express your emotions, don't let anything get in the way of your dreams. You worked so hard for this. It eats away at me that I could never be as smart and exeptional as you.

I promise when I am out of this horrendous place I will go to college and get my life together, you inspired me to achieve.

Thank you for being amazing! See you soon, I hope.

Love Lauren


End file.
